This is how to run a stick of Chapstick
down the black boxes on your scantron
so the grading machine skips the wrong
answers. This is how to honor roll. Hell,
this is how to National Honor Society.
This is being voted “Most Likely to Marry
for Money” or “Talks the Most, Says the
Least” for senior superlatives. This is
stepping around the kids having panic
attacks in the hallway. This is being the
kid having a panic attack in the hallway.
This is making the A with purple moons
stamped under both eyes. We had to try.
This is telling the ACT supervisor you have
ADHD to get extra time. Today, the average
high school student has the same anxiety
levels as the average 1950’s psychiatric
patient. We know the Pythagorean theorem
by heart, but short-circuit when asked
“How are you?” We don’t know. We don’t
know. That wasn’t on the study guide.
We usually know the answer, but rarely
okay so today I was at the mall and this girl walking in front of me and tripped and fell and instead of helping her up like a normal person would- I decided to make her feel less embarrassed and fall down too
but I guess another guy had the same idea because we fell at the same time
and then another person fell
and suddenly I was lying in the middle of an impromptu fainting mob and a lot of people were shouting
and the girl who’d originally fallen looked so fucking happy
Jesus was a homeless Palestinian anarchist who held protests at oppressive churches, advocated for universal health care and redistribution of wealth, before being arrested for terrorism, tortured and executed for crimes against the state, now go ahead and explain to me why he’d vote conservative. I’ll wait.
i’m sorry that’s just the best sentence i’ve ever read
mom: hey *dad’s name* oh whoops i mean *brother’s name* oh no *sister’s name* i mean *name of the family goldfish* ah shoot i meant *your name* can you get down here really quick i need something
my dad has literally called me by his own name.
I pretty much get everyone’s name but my own…
I have a twin sister and I called myself by her name.
I have called myself the wrong name. Twice.
#This is the scene that broke me #Because for this one moment #The hard and aloof Javert looks down #Looks down #And sees #The sweepings of the street #The dead #The little boy #The little boy that saw right through him #The little boy that unmasked him and led to his capture #The little boy that did exactly what Javert would have done in his place #And if you listen to the score #You’ll hear a familiar theme #And you’ll hear the echoes of the lyrics #’He’s like the son I might have known… #If God had granted me a son…’ #And the echoes of those lyrics #Are Javert’s eulogy for the fallen Gavroche (via nonlinear-nonsubjective)
I am crying
to say that “platonic sex isnt a thing” or to joke about people on tumblr wanting sex or other physical affection in a platonic way implies that sex is inherently romantic and romanticism is inherently sexual. lets throw aromantic people and asexual people under the bus. super fun. LOVING this.
This is an ancient Roman amulet for luck. Yes those are flying penises.
Also of note, the Roman god of marriage, Mutunus Tutunus, whose name is derived from two Latin slang words for penis. His name is essentially Dick Wiener. If you have ever wondered just how much like us the Romans were, read the etymology section.
It’s a flying fuck.
It used to be given, and now look, it’s no more.
LITERALLY. A FLYING FUCK.